The Guided Blonde: Fear Exercise
FOLLOW THIS PROCESS FOR ONE OF YOUR FEARS.
Write down your answers to the following questions. (Tempting as it may be, please not do this exercise in your head. Give yourself the best shot at being free of fear — write by hand.)
Important: this is NOT a journaling exercise; it is an ego-buster/love-builder. Keep your answers short and sweet.
Answer The 8 Questions
1. Are you willing to "make up" your mind? Fear happens when your thoughts or actions are in conflict with the God consciousness within you. The Course tells us willingness to have a "unified goal" with your inner guidance is key to the end of fear.
2. Name your fear. (What is the fear beneath that fear? And beneath that?) Bullet-point them. No journaling, please.
3. What aspects of your life are you trying to protect?
- Financial abundance
- Happiness/emotional status
- Future success
(Don't veer far from the above list. Look to see if what you are protecting can be described using one of the bullet points above.)
God consciousness/the Universe cannot heal what you are trying to protect.
4. What are the lies that are keeping you hooked into this fear?
"If X happens, then I'll be Y." (If I stop being scared, then I'll be happy/can finally start living. If I can get some assurance that I won't be "punished," then I'll be at peace. If I keep hiding out, I will avoid ever being hurt.)
"If X happens, I won't be okay." (Actually, if you believe in miracles, you will be led to exactly what you need.)
"It's my business what other people think of me."
"I know the outcome that would serve the Whole in this situation."
"It's possible for someone to give me ENOUGH validation to make me feel whole, complete, and loved." (There isn't enough validation in the world to make us feel whole — wholeness is a fundamental truth of who we are, because we are an extension of God/love/the Universe.)
"People will love me only if I'm perfect." (Gentle reminder: people despise perfect people! The ego mistakes fear for love...)
"If I hide out, nobody can hurt me." (Ego's excuse for not showing up.)
"It's too late/no more chances." (A deflection of responsibility — it's never too late, and there are infinite chances. It takes a shift in perception from fear to love to see the infinite chances.)
5. What do you do when you are you trying to protect yourself? (How are you energizing this fear with your actions?)
Trying to control the outcome
Trying to prevent pain or "bad things" from happening
Trying to control what people think of me
Numbing it out
Trying to "fix it"
Living in denial
Fantasizing about bad things/good things
Giving less than my best
NOTE: Notice how the very behavior we think will end the fear actually increases the fear. The paradox is, we have to stop trying to end the fear in order for the fear to end. Remember, fear is insane. It is not real. When we try to stop the fear, we're treating it like it's real. It ain't!
6. How would you change your mindset if you gave up protecting yourself?
Answer: Mentally and emotionally allow the thing you fear to happen —welcome it! Give yourself permission to have the fear, and for the "bad thing" to happen.
Self-talk for when you notice yourself energizing the fear:
"It's okay if [FEAR] happens. It's okay. You don't have to stop being afraid, but we're going to carry on anyway. We're going to walk outside in the sun and have a terrible day — but we're going to do it in public! (Victory!) We're going to show up and suck — but we're going to show up! (Victory!) We're going to make a phone call — and let it be brutally awkward — but we are going to make that phone call! (Victory!) We're going to make some art — some really bad art— but we're going to make some art! (Victory!)"
7. What will you do if this fear comes true? How will you and the Universe handle it? OR: is there something you are not doing that you need to do?
Hint: you will turn to God Consciousness/ the Universe and trust that a miracle will show up for you. Remember, prayer is the medium of miracles. Meaning: if you want a miracle, a shift in perception from fear to love, just pray for it. You'll be restored to right mind and see something you didn't see before. Your next actions will arise from your miraculous way of seeing.
8. What would you do in this situation right now if you were not protecting your ego? (If you were not afraid. If God consciousness had the space to protect and to guide you.) Ask God consciousness/the Universe if your choice is in accord with its choice.
Your answer will be different depending on your unique situation… Write down what you think you would do and then be sure to ask God consciousness/the Universe if your choice is in accord with its choice.
NOTE: I have found God consciousness to be INCREDIBLY practical. Sometimes the miracle looks like: call the doctor, hydrate, end the relationship, prepare for the event, make the phone call, make art, sign up for the class, go on a walk, meditate, and so on. When you do these exercises, what comes to you ain't nothing.
Principles To Remember
You are not responsible for the first thought — you are responsible for the second thought.
Resisting fear generates fear.
Allowing the fear to come true releases it.
Allow a space for fear, but identify with love.
You cannot master fear; you can only master love.
Guided Meditation: Love Rehearsal For Fear
Please bring your physical written work with you to the meditation.